Appropriate: Can you say hi?
Inappropriate: Can you say anything? A warning would be nice before you spit up next time.
Inappropriate: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I knew that would scare you awake.
Appropriate: Who’s ticklish?
Inappropriate: I hope you’re not laughing because you’re pooping.
Appropriate: Your tiny feet are so cute.
Inappropriate: You’re not fooling anybody with those socks that are supposed to look like shoes.
Appropriate: Can I hold you?
Inappropriate: Can I hold you until you get hungry, sleepy or need to be changed?
Appropriate: Where’s your nose?
Inappropriate: Where’s your nose? Can you not smell yourself? Whew.
Appropriate: You’ll be walking soon.
Inappropriate: You’ll be walking soon, because I’m not carrying you.
Appropriate: Your skin is so soft.
Inappropriate: Your skin is so soft. Are your parents leaving you in the bathtub too long?
Appropriate: You look just like your mommy and daddy.
Inappropriate: You look just like your mommy and daddy. You should relax more and try to look your age.
Appropriate: Shake my finger.
Inappropriate: Pull my finger.
Appropriate: What’s your name?
Inappropriate: Whoever gave you that shirt with your name on it has put you at serious risk of identity theft.
Appropriate: I love your silky smooth hair.
Inappropriate: You have the same haircut as my bald grandfather.