• About The ParentNormal
  • About the Author
  • About the Podcast
  • More From The ParentNormal

The ParentNormal

Your Home for Close Encounters of the Baby, Toddler & Elementary Kind

  • The ParentNormal Comedy Podcast
    • Featured Guests
    • Parenting Fails
  • Popular Parenting Memes
    • ParentNormal Facts
  • The ParentNormal Activity Book Series
  • About/Contact

Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week, Sept.13, 2014

by Chris Cate

I read so many hilarious parenting tweets on Twitter that I thought I should start sharing some of them here. Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same crazy adventures as you. I hope you’ll not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy!

“Oh, that shirt had buttons.”–me, at bath time right after I pull my kid’s head off

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 9, 2014

3yo: “DADDY!! Come here! We’re not shaking our naked butts on the stairs!” SPOILER ALERT: They were. — ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) September 8, 2014

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. #mommylife #mommyproblems #toddlerlife

— Jennifer Taylor (@momtricksblog) September 10, 2014

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

If Toddlers Ruled the World…

by Chris Cate

earth2

Thankfully, mommas make sure toddlers don’t rule the world. But if toddlers did rule the world…

  1. Stairs would be replaced with slides.
  2. The 5-second rule would be extended to 5 days.
  3. We would all live in tent cities.
  4. Every book would be declared a coloring book.
  5. Restaurants would have signs that read, “No Shirt, No Shoes, Service!”
  6. Animal sounds would become an acceptable, if not preferable, form of human communication.
  7. Clothing would be optional.
  8. Snacks would be served 24 hours a day and dessert would be considered a healthy alternative to breakfast, lunch, dinner and second dinner, which would be the most important meal of the day.
  9. Naps would be banned and only free sleep (the act of naturally falling asleep, such as comfortably in a car seat or face down in a cereal bowl) would be permissible, though still frowned upon.
  10. Everyone would get a special treat for going potty on the toilet or in a diaper.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: toddler

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
FacebookInstagramTwitter Pinterest
Load More…

Follow on Instagram

Get a Free Copy of The ParentNormal Crash Course

* indicates required



Tweets by @ParentNormal

2 ParentNormal Books Now Available!

The ParentNormal Crash Course is three crash courses of parenting humor in one that feature hilarious parenting warnings about the daily grind of parenthood. Get it now on Amazon.

Perfect Parenting is the parenting book with the fewest words but most important lesson: You aren’t going to be a perfect parent. Get it now on Amazon.

Recent Posts

  • 33 Lessons I Learned from the Judy Blume MasterClass
  • Four Haircuts, Three Kids, Too Funny, One Bad Hair Day
  • Absorb This: Diapers Get Their Absorbency from a World Class Mill Near My House!
  • Gift Ideas for the Dads in Your Life
  • Ep. 93 Interview with Everybody Loves Raymond creator and Somebody Feed Phil host Phil Rosenthal

Categories

  • Blog
  • Entertainment
  • Lists
  • MasterClass
  • Parenting Fails
  • ParentNormal Interviews
  • ParentNormal Mailbag
  • ParentNormal News
  • Perfect Parenting
  • Sponsored Content
  • The ParentNormal Comedy Podcast
  • The ParentNormal Crash Course
  • Uncategorized
  • Video

Copyright © 2019 · Metro Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in