Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same absurd adventures as you. I hope you not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy!
Memento, but w a toddler, and no amnesia disease either, because toddlers instantly forget whatever they were just screaming about anyway.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 9, 2014
Tonight we will be having “That looks kinda yucky,” with “How many bites do I have to take?” on the side. — Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) October 6, 2014
Pro tip: If one of my kids says “close your eyes and open your mouth”, you should never, ever do it.
— Mommyland Rants (@mommylandrants) October 5, 2014
My kids don’t always cough in my mouth, but when they do they have a contagious viral infection and I have big plans 3-7 days in the future. — Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) October 8, 2014
I thought being a parent would mean explaining the beauty of the world. Instead I spend most of my time explaining why cookies aren’t dinner
— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) October 7, 2014
I wonder if Blue Ivy’s mom lies down on the living room floor every day from 3-5PM. — Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler) October 9, 2014
And here’s my shameless attempt to promote some of my own tweets from this week:
Toddlers bounce back like the bouncy balls that they hit themselves in the face with. Parents bounce back like email – three days later.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 5, 2014
If you’ve never done an army crawl inside your house, chances are you’ve never tried to put a cranky baby to sleep.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 7, 2014
– dry – dry – dry – dry – dry – dry – dry – dry – dry – dry – wet – wet – – Me, in the dark, trying to find where my toddler wet the bed.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 10, 2014
