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Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week, Oct. 18, 2014

by Chris Cate

Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same absurd adventures as you. I hope you not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy!

I don’t care if my child ever makes the honor roll. I’ll be happy if he just figures out how to use ChapStick. It’s not a food group, kid.

— That’s Parenting (@ThatsParenting) October 13, 2014

Of course our parents don’t understand what’s so hard about raising children. 95% of the methods they used to raise us are illegal now. — carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) October 15, 2014

There are two types of people in this world: people who get a good night’s sleep and parents.

— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) October 16, 2014

Is there anything funnier than a toddler? Mine just negotiated me down from 3 M&Ms to 2 if he poops on the potty. He no understand numbers. — Toulouse (@toulouseNtonic) October 16, 2014

My kid forgot I asked her to clean up her toys 5 mins ago, but not that she asked me to dress up as DJ Lance Rock for Halloween 3 weeks ago.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) October 17, 2014

My swing set brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like “My mommy says I can stay all day. What’s for lunch? Ew I don’t like macaroni” — Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 17, 2014

And here’s my shameless attempt to promote some of my own tweets from this week:

Toddler paintings are like constellations. Somebody has to tell you what you’re looking at, and then you see it, kind of.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 17, 2014

“You had me before hello.” – My toddler upon meeting someone giving away balloons.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 15, 2014

A baby could have saved everyone from Gilligan’s Island. A baby would have made them turn the boat around 15 minutes into the 3-hour tour.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 15, 2014

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: baby, toddler

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3x Dad. Words in Wash Post, Reader’s Digest, McSweeneys, more. Email or DM me for collaborations. chris@parentnormal.com. My new Etsy shop ⬇️

Chris Cate
Instagram post 17897805490747612 I’m still waiting. 😂😂😂
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Credit @cynicalparent 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17873766104123320 How is it still just as hard today as it was on day one of online classes? 🤦‍♂️
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Credit @letmemomsplain 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #coronavirusmemes #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #socialdistance #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #selfquarantine #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #quarantinememes #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #quarantined #tiredasamother #socialdistancing #coronamemes
Instagram post 17901564829675246 Truth. 💯💯
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Credit @snarkybreeders 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 18189114073023350 For the last several weeks I’ve been watching countless YouTube tutorials and studying everything I can find about making tee shirts to sell. And I’m finally up and running with my own Etsy shop for parents now. 
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These are a few of my first shirts and I plan to be making many more. I hope you’ll check out my shop using the link in my bio. I’d love to know what you think. Thanks!
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #etsyshirtshop #etsygift #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #momclothes #etsyusa #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #marriedlife #parentinghumor #etsyfinds #parentingfail #parentingmemes #etsysale #funnymemesdaily #etsymom #momshirt #funnymomshirt #funnydadshirt #etsyshirt
Instagram post 17910599875600264 Such a hot look. 😂😂
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Credit @dad.wilder 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17864420906299387 Truth. 💯
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Credit @fruitsofmotherhood 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
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