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Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week, Oct. 18, 2014

by Chris Cate

Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same absurd adventures as you. I hope you not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy!

I don’t care if my child ever makes the honor roll. I’ll be happy if he just figures out how to use ChapStick. It’s not a food group, kid.

— That’s Parenting (@ThatsParenting) October 13, 2014

Of course our parents don’t understand what’s so hard about raising children. 95% of the methods they used to raise us are illegal now. — carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) October 15, 2014

There are two types of people in this world: people who get a good night’s sleep and parents.

— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) October 16, 2014

Is there anything funnier than a toddler? Mine just negotiated me down from 3 M&Ms to 2 if he poops on the potty. He no understand numbers. — Toulouse (@toulouseNtonic) October 16, 2014

My kid forgot I asked her to clean up her toys 5 mins ago, but not that she asked me to dress up as DJ Lance Rock for Halloween 3 weeks ago.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) October 17, 2014

My swing set brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like “My mommy says I can stay all day. What’s for lunch? Ew I don’t like macaroni” — Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 17, 2014

And here’s my shameless attempt to promote some of my own tweets from this week:

Toddler paintings are like constellations. Somebody has to tell you what you’re looking at, and then you see it, kind of.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 17, 2014

“You had me before hello.” – My toddler upon meeting someone giving away balloons.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 15, 2014

A baby could have saved everyone from Gilligan’s Island. A baby would have made them turn the boat around 15 minutes into the 3-hour tour.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 15, 2014

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: baby, toddler

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3x Dad. Words in Wash Post, Reader’s Digest, McSweeneys, more. Email or DM me for collaborations. chris@parentnormal.com. My new Etsy shop ⬇️

Chris Cate
So much tired. 😩⠀
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Credit @mommyowl⠀
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
I don't even like thinking about this. 😱⠀
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Credit /daddydoubts on Twitter⠀
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
This is so much harder to do than you realize. 😂⠀
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Credit @simoncholland⠀
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Can't be too sure. 😂⠀ .⠀ Credit @thedad⠀ Can't be too sure. 😂⠀
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Credit @thedad⠀
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
I'll never figure out how 'sleep when the baby sle I'll never figure out how 'sleep when the baby sleeps' is supposed to work. 🤦‍♂️⠀
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Credit @lessonsfromtheminivan⠀
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
I usually skip to step 3. 😂⠀ .⠀ Credit /sup I usually skip to step 3. 😂⠀
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Credit /superconfusedd on Twitter⠀
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
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