Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same absurd adventures as you. I hope you not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy!
I don’t care if my child ever makes the honor roll. I’ll be happy if he just figures out how to use ChapStick. It’s not a food group, kid.
— That’s Parenting (@ThatsParenting) October 13, 2014
Of course our parents don’t understand what’s so hard about raising children. 95% of the methods they used to raise us are illegal now. — carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) October 15, 2014
There are two types of people in this world: people who get a good night’s sleep and parents.
— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) October 16, 2014
Is there anything funnier than a toddler? Mine just negotiated me down from 3 M&Ms to 2 if he poops on the potty. He no understand numbers. — Toulouse (@toulouseNtonic) October 16, 2014
My kid forgot I asked her to clean up her toys 5 mins ago, but not that she asked me to dress up as DJ Lance Rock for Halloween 3 weeks ago.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) October 17, 2014
My swing set brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like “My mommy says I can stay all day. What’s for lunch? Ew I don’t like macaroni” — Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 17, 2014
And here’s my shameless attempt to promote some of my own tweets from this week:
Toddler paintings are like constellations. Somebody has to tell you what you’re looking at, and then you see it, kind of.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 17, 2014
“You had me before hello.” – My toddler upon meeting someone giving away balloons.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 15, 2014
A baby could have saved everyone from Gilligan’s Island. A baby would have made them turn the boat around 15 minutes into the 3-hour tour.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 15, 2014
