I read so many hilarious parenting tweets on Twitter that I thought I should start sharing some of them here. Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same crazy adventures as you. I hope you’ll not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy!
Parenting is stressful because when kids are loud, they’re annoying and when they’re quiet, they might be about to lose a limb or eyeball.
— Tara Brown (@Faux_Ma) October 1, 2014
I scream You scream We all scream Because I have kids and that’s the only way we can hear each other over them. — Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 29, 2014
Do you like toys? Then McDonald’s is the only choice! – my 4yo trying to convince his brother where we should go for dinner
— Father with Twins (@FatherWithTwins) October 3, 2014
When my kid makes a cute comment, I stick a star on his forehead & whisper “favorite”. — Carbosly (@Carbosly) September 29, 2014
4-year-old: *sees a kid in the store* She goes to my daycare! She’s my best friend in the world! Me: What’s her name? 4: I don’t remember.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 28, 2014
The only time I’ve ever on time to anything is when I’m dropping my kids off to be watched by somebody else. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) October 2, 2014
And here’s my shameless attempt to promote some of my own tweets from this week:
These tears aren’t because my baby is outgrowing clothes so fast. They’re because my baby never even got to wear so many expensive outfits.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 29, 2014
Living in a house w/ a toddler is like living in a cage w/ a lion – you can’t sleep, have to tiptoe everywhere & heaven forbid you upset it.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 28, 2014
Now that I finally know what my toddler is saying after 2 years, I’m confident I could understand a duck if I spent 2 years with it.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 29, 2014