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If Toddlers Ruled the World…

by Chris Cate

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Thankfully, mommas make sure toddlers don’t rule the world. But if toddlers did rule the world…

  1. Stairs would be replaced with slides.
  2. The 5-second rule would be extended to 5 days.
  3. We would all live in tent cities.
  4. Every book would be declared a coloring book.
  5. Restaurants would have signs that read, “No Shirt, No Shoes, Service!”
  6. Animal sounds would become an acceptable, if not preferable, form of human communication.
  7. Clothing would be optional.
  8. Snacks would be served 24 hours a day and dessert would be considered a healthy alternative to breakfast, lunch, dinner and second dinner, which would be the most important meal of the day.
  9. Naps would be banned and only free sleep (the act of naturally falling asleep, such as comfortably in a car seat or face down in a cereal bowl) would be permissible, though still frowned upon.
  10. Everyone would get a special treat for going potty on the toilet or in a diaper.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: toddler

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3x Dad. Words in Wash Post, Reader’s Digest, McSweeneys, more. Email or DM me for collaborations. chris@parentnormal.com. My new Etsy shop ⬇️

Chris Cate
Instagram post 17927781151490108 It’s apparently in the fine print of parenthood. 😂
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Credit @momcomnyc 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17889762337978716 Ultimate Pro Tip! 😂😂😂
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Credit @spicydisastermama 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17873449829249123 Don’t worry, it only takes 10 minutes to figure out how to log back in 🤦‍♂️
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Credit @nochillpreschooler 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17984950240322615 Touché mom, touché. 😂
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Credit @d.sawa 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17883110150081999 Facts. 😎
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
Instagram post 17885950511031449 Can I open my eyes yet? 😣
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Found on @vodkalana 
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#parenting #parenthood #momlife #dadlife #kids #baby #preschool #toddler #toddlerlife #toddlerproblems #toddlerstyle #fatherhood #motherhood #momhumor #momprobs #momhustle #funnyparents #momstyle #parentingwin #parentinghumor #parentingquotes #parentingfail #parentingmemes #parenthacks #funnymemesdaily #toddlermom #parentingtips #tiredasamother #parentingblogger #parenting101
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